After talking and talking about something so much you think there would be a decision.
Of course with you there is never a decision. There is never your true honest feelings.
I know when you lie.
I know when you hold back.
I know when you are telling only half of the story.
Dont tell me your lies anymore.
I will not listen.
I will not hope.
I will not care.
I will not believe the tears.
I am moving on.
We are done.
You are done.
I am done.
This is my ode.
This is my truth
This is my beginning.
- Recap: St. Pat My Party
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
brwnsuge3- March 30th, 10:03
So... what can I say, but it was awesome as usual... So much fun!!! There aren't enough words to explain how awesome St. Patty’s Weekend was... it has been a long time since we all got together for a weekend of straight craziness, food, fun, drinks, and togetherness...
Friday night... everyone arrived. Casey and Katie arrived around 2:30p.m. and Martin arrived around midnight... lol! Mikael and I played with the kids outside throwing the football, kicking the little ball, and making sure Rylee didn’t run away from us... as usual Frank was working until about 5p.m. We were all stoked that Frank finally got some time off to hang out and let loose... its been a long time, since. We watched movies, ate dinner, and just had a great time... relaxing.. As usual the picture taken began...
Saturday morning/noon/night... so we awoke to pancakes and coffee... amazing!!! Yummy goodness... so once we all got dressed and full, we played outside with the kids, played with Dulaynie “Petri”… little turbo in her walker; and then the drinking commenced. Going back: Thursday night Mikael and I went to Bashas 10 minutes before closing time to get alcohol for the Paarrtay!!! We grabbed 2- 6 pack Smithwick’s, 12 pack of Guinness, a 24 – variety pack of Samuel Adams, 2 bottles of Yeager, a bottle of Malibootey, and pineapple juice. So we started early with the mixed drinks, but not before the usual shot of Surfer’s on Acid (Malibootey, Yeager, and pineapple juice; for those that don’t know); and a virgin shot of Surfer’s on Nothing (for Katy K). After the shot I began the bartender duties of making mixed drinks…. Then onto the beer… the attached pictures really don’t do this weekend justice, but will give you an idea of how BANANAS it was. After drinking, eating, having fun, singing, and dancing, lol.. all in all it was a great time. We ended the night with a bomb dinner. Frank made corned beef and cabbage with potatoes.. I would usually hate this dish, but it was so freakin’ good I couldn’t stop eating it… the corned beef had so much flavor, was so juicy, and delicious.. the cabbage was cooked perfectly... and the potatoes were finger licking good… mmm.. mmm… mmm…. Night night, sleep tight!
Sunday morning/noon/day time… we woke up ready for the Renaissance Faire. We all got up, got dressed, and left for our 1 ½ hour journey to 60 – Apache Junction to take in some festivities. When we arrived we ate some good food: Artichoke dip, soup, beef stew, stuffed baked potatoes, and of course Turkey Legs… so delicious. We washed all of that down with Margaritas, Shipwrecks, Mead, and any other tasty, delicious, alcoholic beverage we could consume. Casey won the axe throwing contest, Frank won the knife throwing contest, Mikael won the dart throwing contest, and I should have won the paint ball challenge, but that dumb broad didn’t dance around and bob and weave like she needed to, stupid hoe, lol! Martin participated in the wall climbing contest and kicked butt… take that you wall. Frank participated in the fire routine, which was pretty SICK!!!
All in all the weekend was a blast... believe it or not this is the chopped version of the weekend recap. Lots and lots of good times and memories… back on a plane, home!
- Good Cheer
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- brwnsuge3
- March 18th, 20:07
So it's that time again
To have fun
To drink up
To soak up
All the good times
Good friends and family
Good beer and food
Laughter, Giggles, and Snorts
Here is to Mikael, Frank, Aedon
Keylah, Dulaynie, Me
Casey, Katie, and Martin
May you drink heavily
Stuff your face with food
Laugh till your body hurts
And pass out when your done...
- St. Patty's Drinking Song For You
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- brwnsuge3
- March 17th, 14:47
St. Patrick's Day Party - A Drinking Song for You
well i stumbled and i am all drunk and full of smoke
my wife said i have had enough, thats it, im sick, get out!
so i stumbled down to kellys pub across the edge of town
and i told the boys me story and we had another round
we'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!
we'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!
and if i see a pretty girl, ill sleep with her tonight!
we'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!
and mary mcgregor, well she was a pretty whore
she'd always greet you with a smile and never lock her door
but on the day she died, all the men in town did weep
for mary mcgregor finally got some sleep
we'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!
we'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!
and if i see a pretty girl, ill sleep with her tonight!
we'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!
well i once loved a girl, a child im told
i gave her my heart and she gave me a cold
so now i sit standing here out in the pouring rain
ill stumble back to kellys pub and cry away me pain
we'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!
we'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!
and if i see a pretty girl, ill sleep with her tonight!
we'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!
- SOOO EXCITED
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- brwnsuge3
- March 16th, 2008
So it has been about two months since I have seen my bestfriend.... and it is killing me. It sucks him being there and all of us being here. So I am super excited because this upcoming Friday he is coming for a four day fun in the sun trip to good ole' Sunny California....well mainly Daygo. I cant wait because everything I have been wanting to do for the last couple of weeks and dont have anyone to do it with....I can now do with him. He is my beach buddy, my shopping buddy, my bored out of my mind lets take a random road trip to who knows where buddy...so we havent decided exactly what we are doing while he is here, but I know what ever it is, its going to be awesome and so much fun. Cant wait...its just now countdown time...Five days to go...
- Life
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- brwnsuge3
- February 26th, 2008
So I havent written about life in a while so i thought I would write a little. Life has taken a turn once again. Something unexpectedly happend for the good and bad.
Personal life. I met a really cool bartender the other night and he asked for my number. It was awesome. I went out with the girls for some drinks/appetizers and there he was. He is cute, but in a dangerous bad boy look. Which I probably should leave alone, but I am tempted to see exactly who he is and whats he about. So we are going out thursday night of this week and it should be fun. He has a sense of humor and that makes me smile. Ill let you know what happens. Usually a good judge of character and he has potential written all on him. wink wink
Work Related. So I got promotion, a raise, and a new position, and still unhappy. I love what I do and I love the admin dept. but other than that I do not like working here anymore. So I had an HR interview and told them what I thought of one particular employee which everyone agreed with, so she left this branch and went to another. Score 1 for the team. So now I am a personal asst./billing specialist/office manager (share this role with 2 other people. And I am still trying to move and find a career..so interesting enough!
Living Situations... We moved into an awesome 2700 sq. ft. home that ROCKS!!! Super stoked isnt the word for this place. It is massive. My mom has begun decorating it so beautifully and i couldnt ask for a better place to rest my head. I thank them for providing for my sisters and I my whole life. Whether it be financially, politically, or loving. They are awesome.
I think that is it for now...just a little catch up.
- Poopie Day
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- brwnsuge3
- February 12th, 2008
crappy
GGRRR....i think i have cried maybe three times today and stopped myself from crying like five times. Today just sucks...just went you think that nothing else can hit you in the face here comes fifty more things. I am just so ready to move...not move to Arizona, but just move into the next chapter, the next pahase. Because each day I am realizing I am so unhappy!
Sorry to keep being such a downer, but I feel the walls closing in and the ground beneath me beginning to crumble...
Til next time, praying it will be better.
- Lost and Confused
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- brwnsuge3
- February 11th, 2008
So I have been thinking about so many things lately, I feel like my head is going to explode. So the plan was for me to move out to Arizona March 28 for good....and I was super stoked about it. Then somethings happened where it seems that has to be put on hold, but i dont want it to be. Does that sound selfish? I dont want to wait, I want to move now. I have been waiting to apply for jobs out there, but everyday I look I am finding better and better jobs. Not just jobs, but something I can really turn into a career. What should i do? Should I hold off and wait to see if something better happens or go ahead and apply to these awesome jbs and see what happens? Either way I have a place to stay or so I hope and if not I can get a place..with the money I have now I can easily pay first and last months rent, but I dont want to live by myself...and I know the person I am going to live with would be more than stoked to move into their own place, but they have alot of their own repsonsibilities and I cant make them move or do something I want because I am ready....grrrr.... do you see my dilemna? I am completely lost and have no idea what to do...so ill be patient til I get some revelation.
- Do you think?
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- brwnsuge3
- January 30th, 2008
Why is it people try so hard? If you constantly call, write, e-mail, message or talk to someone that isnt returning the same...then guess what? They want nothing to do with you. Can you get the signs.. Sorry that was my random thought for the day. It just irritates me a little bit now and again.
- So Excited...
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- brwnsuge3
- January 29th, 2008
accomplished
OMG...today is such an awesome day. I have been on a good one today. So last night it began first. I went to my second moms house to color her hair and it came out so good. It was awesome. We had such a fun time coloring hair, laughing, and talking. I missed her. Then I called my bestfriend. The last couple of days (weekend) I really began to miss him. Rainiy days..there was no one to watch a movie with and sunny days... there was no one to go to the beach with...so i got a little sad...and then we talked. It was awesome. Whenever I am nervous or unsure he gives me the motivaton and courage I need...I love you, thanks! So this morning I had my company review, my first one since starting here in the last 9-10 months. So my boss/VP of the company had nothing, but awesome things to say about me and my work ethic. I was and still am super stoked....ecstatic really. I am overjoyed at all the wonderful things he said and that other people had told him. So it is good to know that my hardwork is not over looked. I am so over the moon right now.....yea!/cow_jumping_over_moon.gif)
- laugh out loud
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- brwnsuge3
- January 24th, 2008
chipper
i work with some of the craziest people
i joke around with my silly family
i laugh so hard with my friends
i am blessed to know so many great people
- (no subject)
-
- brwnsuge3
- January 22nd, 2008
drained
why is it that no matter what you tell yourself you cant stop thinking of something or someone. I am really sad today and I cant get out of this FUNK. My two best friends are in the same place and I am stuck here. I hate it.
I want to be joyful and excited. I want to enjoy today and be happy. I look at my screensaver and tell my self that all will be okay and to get over it. It's countdown time....be happy!
My thoughts - friends, family, love, support, longevity, and serenity.
I need sleep so bad.
- New Year.. New Life
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- brwnsuge3
- January 12th, 2008
Changes...that is what this year is going to be about.
Moving...
Getting a house...
Finding a CAREER, that I will love and cherish....
Living in a new town,place, space, area... (Tucson, AZ).....
Being with my extended family, friends, and loved ones.... (Hawkins Family, My Gibson)....
And everything that this year is going to bring..
HAPPY LATE NEW YEAR....may this year be like any other year. May it bring more life changes, loves, joys, and strengths in yourself and around you than you ever thought before. Let the freedom of today surpass you above and beyond your greatest thoughts and imagines. May your relationships bloom and test the times. Love, Live, and be FREE!!!!
I am more amp'd and excited about this year and time in my life than I ever have before.
So its been a while so I will fill everyone in.
Thanksgiving was awesome. Just my family and I at home hanging out. Nothing special....just good food and good company.
Mock Thanksgiving was even better. Casey made an awesome bacon, buttered, garlic turkey that was so freakin delicious i cant even explain it into words, how awesome it was...
Christmas was also awesome...we didnt do gifts this year since everyone is moving and doing thier own things, but we just spend a nice dinner together and then went to the movies with like the other 1/2 million people that go on christmas day. we saw i am legend and alvin and the chipmunks.l..fun and awesome movies
Mock Christmas rocked even harder once again...I did mock christmas in arizona with mikael, frank, the kids (Godchildren), and Casey.. it was so much fu...Can you love it Aedon? I can love it Uncle Tasy.......i got the sickest journal...so i might not be writing on here as much since i can free write and makes me think so much more. its exactly what i needed....good times....
New Years was okay. but once again it seems like thats what i needed. ...i dint drink, didnt really party..got together with some really good friends and played games, watched dane cook, laughed, told jokes...like 20 people having an awesome time..it was awesome...
So pretty much a re-cap of my life lately and whats to come....
- (no subject)
-
- brwnsuge3
- November 20th, 2007
Main Entry: ebullient Part of Speech: adjective Definition: enthusiastic Synonyms: agitated, bouncy, brash, buoyant, chipper*, chirpy*, effervescent, effusive, elated, excited, exhilarated, exuberant, frothy*, gushing, high-spirited, irrepressible, vivacious, zestful, zippy* Antonyms: apathetic, disinterested, sedate, somber, subdued, unenthusiastic
I cant wait for this weekend...
- How I felt
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- brwnsuge3
- November 15th, 2007
When I went to bed last night and then when I woke up this morning this is how I felt (not all of these). You make me feel so bad sometimes I just dont know how and/or why. How can someone have so much control over feelings and the way I Iook at things? I need to start reaching in for some personal encouragement. I am not insecure, self-loathing, conceited, or anything of the above. I am quite content, but there are sometimes I want someone to make me feel better about being me. So loved this I know, but sometimes forgotten.Main Entry: rancor Part of Speech: noun Definition: bitterness Synonyms: acerbity, acrimony, animosity, animus, antagonism, antipathy, aversion, bad blood*, bile*, dudgeon, enmity, grudge, harshness, hate, hatefulness, hatred, hostility, ill feeling, ill will, malevolence, malice, malignity, mordacity, pique, resentfulness, resentment, retaliation, revengefulness, ruthlessness, spite, spitefulness, spleen, umbrage, uncharitableness, unfriendliness, variance, vengeance, vengefulness, venom, vindictiveness, virulence
- After the Holiday.....
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- brwnsuge3
- November 13th, 2007
Thanksgiving Weekend.....
I am so bitter right now. I just started this job a couple of months ago and since I am at the bottom of the totem pole I have to work the day after Thanksgiving (Friday, 11/24/07)....so not fair. We were going to leave early that morning and spend a whole weekend in AZ for my Godsons birthday and hang out with the family and now it just got shot to hell. I am so upset....I am going to try to work a 1/2 a day, but we shall see how that goes. I am trying to be optimistic about it, but I just dont see how I am. GRRRRR>>>>> why cant we just have the day off after Thanksgiving automatically. Sad face...cheer me up somebody... :(
- New Day
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- brwnsuge3
- November 11th, 2007
Update....
Where to begin. Each week it is the same thing. Love, Life, Happiness, Joy.
So short note. I finally have a cell phone again. I am happier now than ever. I live everyday to the fullest and am grateful for the people in my life. All my family, friends, and Godchildren are doing awesome. Work is busy and hectic, but love it, no complaints this time. I am going to have an awesome simple Thanksgiving with my family and then off to AZ for three days for my Godson Aedon's birthday bonanza...lmao! Not quite sure how much of a bonanza, but were pretty fun people so I know it will be CRAZY! And then back here to get ready for the holiday season. Christmas and New Year's are going to be awesome, I cant wait. I already know what everyone is getting and I am not going to go broke this holiday season to make it all happen. Then getting ready to move finally. For once I didnt bring it up and I am not making all the plans and arrangement. This will be my only mention because there are a lot of changes that will be happening with this move and I know it will be for the better. We are both so much happier together and I knowing living with each other will be more than expected, but our prayers are being answered and are moving in the direction we are going for. The more we talk about it to each other and not with others the more it is coming into plan. I have all the knowing this is going to work.
I pray for everyone-and-everything.
Selah.
- Long Time Away from HERE
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- brwnsuge3
- October 31st, 2007
content
OMG...What can I say, but it has been a really long time since I have written on here. So where to begin.....I am so exhausted, happy, excited, miserable, and torn, but extremely loved right now. I am having so many different emotions going on in me right now. Today is Halloween and for the first time in 3 years Mikael wont be here to celebrate with us. I am so sad, I miss her so much I dont think I could explain to her just how much. Do you ever have someone that gets you and understands your randomness, but accepts because they are just as random as you are. If yes, then maybe we should be friends. My two biggest people in my life are exactly like me when it comes to some off the wall crap.. i love it! Anyways, so last night (Tues-10/30) Casey and I carved pumpkins. It was so much fun. It was a lot of fun going to pick them out, but thats an inside joke I must keep to my self (all i can say is cleptomanic..LMAO)...so I got a tiny pumpkin and carved eyes, a nose, and some crazzzzyyyy jacked teeth... and took the insides and made some funky hair. It rocked I MUST SAY...im thinking if you saw it you would agree. So today I brought it to work and everyone loved it..I was super glad. All in a days work.
My journal entries are always really long...so I apologize now. So we went to AZ last weekend...it was bittersweet. My bestfriend(s) mom is like another mom to me. She takes care of me (sick or not), feeds me, clothes me(ahah-jacked her socks), loves me, and more than anything listens to me. She has been a true friend and an inspiration regardless if she knows it or not. As long as everyday I make sure she knows it by my actions and my words....thats all the matters to me. I can honestly say with her influence and support she has defintely help me be the person I am..thanks MOM.....she is gone for the moment from sight, but in my heart and memories she can never leave.
Aedo and LaLa have stolen my heart again. Sorry...thats all I can say without crying...Sight the WILL..i will take them no matter what the circumstance...they are my children...
Happier note...tonight we are going to Air Conditioned..some random bar/lounge in North Park/University. It is a really cool place. Actually way better than I thought. Fito and I went there after sushi (sushi deli- ROCKS) in downtown. OMG.. the food was amazing.. I ate like a little porker...lmao...good times. This lounge was sicc...after drinking like 4 drinks we harrassed and co-erced Casey into coming with us....it was the most fun I have had in a long time. IT was BANANAS..lol! I am so glad we went and cant wait to do it again. We met a BA bartender named Kirsten...she was coolio..SON!
Anyways..I think that is it for now. Ill write again...much sooner than last time. PROMISE
- Weekend/Re-Cap
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- brwnsuge3
- October 2nd, 2007
Friends will come and go bestfriends will never leave (hopefully). I was so excited to hear from a friend the other day that I forgot all the little things that mattered with the situation that caused us to stop talking. Talking to him made me support the other friend way more. Its crazy, but they both messed up in a sense, but in the end does it even matter. If you want someones love and support and you have it, why throw it all away. I am excited and happy I have my tight knit circle of friends and wouldnt change it for anything. So
FRIDAY night rocked. I forgot to let you all in. I have never been to concert until now and I wouldnt have changed this experience for anything. It was awesome. We enjoyed ourselves to no end. It was exactly what we needed. An awesome night listening to DAVE MATTHEWS BAND and Stephen Marley. Couldnt have asked for anything else. The music, the food, the drinks, and the people were great. We defintely enjoyed the concert experieince to no end. We all got t-shirts, food, drinks, met some cool people all around us. The place was packed. All the seats were taken, the lawn was packed with blankets, goodies, and grass (2kinds-stephenmarley/davematthews..smoke)...lol!
SATURDAY spent the whole day in bed. My BFF had the car and I was asleep/laying in the bed. Good times. We met up with one of my coworkers and went to Rocky's in PB (Pacific Beach). OMG...the best burgers you'll have in your life. They were awesome, so jusicy, big, cheesy, just delicious all around...hmm...yummy...good!
SUNDAY didnt do much either. Laid in bed for a little bit, went to work, laid down again, went to the mall bought some really cute jeans (2) and then to the store, and back to the house. My BFF had to go back to work and i watched "KNOCKED UP" the unrated unprotected version. That movie is hilarious. I could watch it everyday. Good times, Good times.
I think thats it for my recap. I ll write again, promise.
- (no subject)
-
- brwnsuge3
- September 27th, 2007
- OfftheWall
Where to begin...SO tomorrow is the Dave Matthews concert and I am beyond excited. I am 22 years old and have never been to a concert. I am going with my bestfriend to see one of his favorite bands and neither one of us have ever been to a concert.....so EXCITED to the max. I bought us tickets like 4 months ago and I am so happy we are going. His little brother and girlfriend are going with us as well. This should be a fun experience for all of us. DAVE here we come...
So today, randomly my friend Soloman wrote me. We havent talked in like four months. There was drama with a mutual friend, he did some shady things, and life was just crazy with him in it. Today all those little worries and tensions seemed to go away today. I missed him. I mean alot. I guess I dont know how to explain it. We were super close and all was good and then this happened and he was gone. So we spent the next 5 hours talking on yahoo chatting about the last four months. RANDOM, yet awesome in the same. I pray all works out with our mutual friend and all is chill.....life will be back in order. Well, my ride is here....talk to you soon.
